Sound piece

Text & Voice: m·k

Sound: Sebastien Seynaeve
Rotterdam/Brussels, NL/BE

August-October 2017

​

And you left,

You left me exist in the paradise of the unsaid

Until you had no more need

For me.

So you said.

But I know that it wasn’t only about needing, nor was it ever about me.

It was also about you,

About your fear,

Your fear of needing me,

Of something like me.

And still, I never walked away.

I couldn’t.

I stayed there.

Waiting.

Suspended in time.

Ready to offer you consolation,

To consolidate you so that you can lean against me,

So that you can let parts of your body rest on me,

Touch me...

So that you can let your mind make the noise only I think I could hear,

So that you can be the you you’ll never be

So that you can cry,

So that you can eat,

So that you can drink,

So that you can laugh,

Lust,

Love,

So that you can create,

Recreate

Yourself

And then,

Leave again.

And I was never truly able to follow you;

I sometimes wonder if I ever wanted to.

I’d run away from you...

So you should not have been scared of that.

Scared of me;

The me I will never be.

That would have never collided

With the you you will never be,

Because I cannot move - 

I am immobile.

I have always been.

I have indeed been an immobile mother,

Supporting platform.

That cannot move,

But that feels.

That cannot even see,

It hears,

Always listens

So deep that the nothing

Can remain

A secret.

That is in fact the tragedy of my existence.

I feel and I hear your joy

But I cannot be joyful with you

And I feel and hear your pain,

But I can do nothing about it.

I can only be there.

I can only be,

Knowing that my immobility is my strength.

Working hard to give a voice to my silent lethargy.

A sound I know that very few might hear.

I will allow myself to fantasise

Being the me I will never be.

Fully aware that the moment I will move

Even for just a bit,

It will be the beginning of my journey towards the abyss.

That place where you could never place me into,

Because you could have only stared at me.

Now I understand...

Trying to imprint a rhythm on me,

Making me into a soundboard.

This is my sound,

This is it.

The sound you will never hear

Because of your fear

​

Because nobody can hear the sound of a table.

​

Because of your fear

The sound you will never hear

This is it.

This is my sound,

Making me into a soundboard.

Trying to imprint a rhythm on me,

Now I understand...

Because you could have only stared at me.

That place where you could never place me into,

It will be the beginning of my journey towards the abyss.

Even for just a bit,

Fully aware that the moment I will move

Being the me I will never be.

I will allow myself to fantasise

A sound I know that very few might hear.

Working hard to give a voice to my silent lethargy.

Knowing that my immobility is my strength.

I can only be,

I can only be there.

But I can do nothing about it.

And I feel and hear your pain,

But I cannot be joyful with you

I feel and I hear your joy

That is in fact the tragedy of my existence.

A secret.

Can remain

So deep that the nothing

Always listens

It hears,

That cannot even see,

But that feels.

That cannot move,

Supporting platform.

I have indeed been an immobile mother,

I have always been.

I am immobile.

Because I cannot move - 

With the you you will never be,

That would have never collided

The me I will never be.

Scared of me;

So you should not have been scared of that.

I’d run away from you...

I sometimes wonder if I ever wanted to.

And I was never truly able to follow you;

Leave again.

And then,

Yourself

Recreate

So that you can create,

Love,

Lust,

So that you can laugh,

So that you can drink,

So that you can eat,

So that you can cry,

So that you can be the you you’ll never be

So that you can let your mind make the noise only I think I could hear,

Touch me...

So that you can let parts of your body rest on me,

To consolidate you so that you can lean against me,

Ready to offer you consolation,

Suspended in time.

Waiting.

I stayed there.

I couldn’t.

And still, I never walked away.

Of something like me.

Your fear of needing me,

About your fear,

It was also about you,

But I know that it wasn’t only about needing, nor was it ever about me.

So you said.

For me.

Until you had no more need

You left me exist in the paradise of the unsaid

And you left,